We Are Human.

Recently, a lot of my counseling clients keep echoing the same theme in their sessions – expressing frustration that they aren’t perfect, don’t have more capacity, can’t do it all themselves, and that they messed something up. I often say, “Surprise! You’re human.” Usually I receive a puzzled or frustrated look in response. I clarify and say that hearing that we’re human is a reminder that we are finite, prone to imperfection, and making mistakes as we navigate life. 

I find it fitting that this seems to be a common theme in counseling sessions during this season of Lent. It’s a season of forty days leading up to Easter where we are reminded that we’re human – we’re finite – and we desperately need God. We have shortcomings. We will mess up. And no matter how hard we try, we will never be perfect.  

Even if we know those things, we still seem to have expectations for ourselves that we can be perfect. We are critical of ourselves when we don’t do something quite right. Often the voice inside our heads starts telling us we can do better, do more, are lazy, aren’t focused on details – the list goes on and on. The standards we have for ourselves are unrealistic and yet we continue to hold ourselves to them. And when we don’t meet the unrealistic expectations (surprise surprise), we can start to feel like it represents a moral failing in us.

In reality, those moments remind us that we’re human. But the part we often forget is that it’s okay to be human.

What if the point of life is that we’re supposed to be human? That it is normal for us to mess up and need others. Failure, and sometimes even mistakes, have become negative words that we work so hard to avoid these days. But what if it doesn’t represent our own character and moral being? We seem to have decided that mistakes and failures define our personality and represent who we are – instead of simply choices and actions we take. This is where shame steps in. 

But God created us to need others – and need God. We were never expected to manage it all on our own and be perfect. Only Jesus was perfect. And Lent is a reminder of that need for God.

You’ve probably heard the story that Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, tells about growing up. Around the dinner table, her father often asked the kids what they failed at that day. It was not to be able to chastise them. It was to celebrate that they tried something. And while it may not have been successful, celebrating the action of trying was the focus. 

Maybe this season of Lent we can celebrate trying new habits, even if they are messy and don’t work out. After all, we are human. And that’s a good thing.