"Just Pull Yourself Up by Your Bootstraps"
How many times have you heard that phrase? For me, I feel like it’s too many times to count. It’s common here in the South to tell someone to “get it together” and simply get out of their funk. But have you ever been in a situation or what feels like a hole that is so deep that you CAN’T just snap out of it?
We talk like we can just will ourselves out of situations. That motivation is enough sometimes. But for many people, it’s not about motivation. I’ve seen people with social anxiety that no matter how many times they try to expose themselves to groups of people, the panic still grips them. I’ve seen friends want to lose some weight and whatever they tried, nothing changed. I’ve seen people lay in bed for days on end and no matter the pleas for them to get out, their bodies simply feel so heavy they can’t get up.
All of these people were motivated. They all WANTED some sort of transformation to happen. But no matter how much they wanted it, nothing changed.
Sometimes motivation isn’t the root cause. Sometimes it’s bigger than that. Sometimes it’s an experience that consumes someone’s thoughts—and according to researched evidence, until they seek a counselor to work through the situation, that person will STILL not be able to conquer their anxiety or depression. Sometimes it’s a learned pattern that the person has created to cope with life but the pattern isn’t working anymore. Sometimes it even can be an actual chemical imbalance that is happening in the brain. So no matter what the situation, sometimes we need someone to walk alongside us on the journey of life.
We need a person. But someone that won’t be freaked out by what we may feel like is our junk or our stuckness. A therapist can provide a safe space to hash out our hopes and fears. And share our frustration or hurts caused by and to others. Sometimes it takes someone from the outside for that safety, listening ear, and resources to help us begin to find ways to crawl out of the hole.
So, if you find yourself in that place… or you might know of a friend that is there… find someone to talk to. Instead of you tugging to get your boots on yourself, let me lend you a hand… and maybe a tool or two… to get those boots on and get ready to conquer the world again.